It struck me that when looking through massage therapy blogs, not one of them was talking about being a parent, partner, and massage therapist. Perhaps there is something less than ethical or professional about blogging on this subject, but I happen to think that it would be helpful to bounce around ideas on the subject.
The entire time I have been in practice as an LMT, I have had my hands full at home. I actually made the choice to go into Massage Therapy and Bodywork when I thought I might be pregnant with my first child. Turns out, it's a great career to allow the freedom of being a most-of-the-time mom. It also has its challenges.
I always had a dream of "owning my own" massage therapy practice. In 2010 I got my wish. And for the first several months I was painfully slow. I relied on a few faithful, wonderful clients, and the Chiropractic office next door to send in referrals. I quickly realized that this waiting it out thing was not going to work, and I would soon go into debt if I didn't do something drastic.
And drastic I did. I heard about a daily deal company called Groupon. It was everything I had hoped for, more clients than I could've dreamed of generating on my own. In 13 hours I sold over 230 massages to prospective clients. I was living the dream...on my own- with a big chunk of money in my business account seeing 6-7 clients, 5 days a week.
Then I was hit with a life-threatening medical emergency. I had no idea what was going on when I collapsed on April 8th, 2011 after going through some emails. I was off work early and found myself panting, dry heaving, faint and dizzy. Having just seen my OB/GYN that day I thought, surely this is nothing serious. I had been having some symptoms I was concerned about, so I visited his office to look at what could be the problem. His response to my concerns was to wait it out and see what happened. He said that because I was still nursing my nearly 12 month old- and my body was confused, my hormones were out of balance. Six hours later I was about to pass out with debilitating abdominal pain, shortness of breath, and feeling I had been stabbed in the shoulder. After 45 minutes and symptoms getting worse, I started wondering if I was going to die. There was nothing I could think to do but call my mother. Twenty minutes later she came to my rescue, called 911 and I was taken to Hillcrest Medical Center in Tulsa via ambulance.
Turns out when I got to the ER I had been bleeding internally for the last two hours. My abdomen was filling with blood and I was on my way into surgery. I was pregnant- and the embryo had traveled into my fallopian tube. This is called an Ectopic Pregnancy. It can be life threatening when the mother is unaware of the pregnancy. Many times these pregnancies are hard to detect because most home pregnancy tests can't verify them if they are in the first 4 weeks. They had to go in and remove the right fallopian tube because it had ruptured. Thank goodness I had wonderful doctors and a great surgeon. When I was out of surgery they explained the procedure. I had a full c-section incision. I had just had my baby, Hank one year earlier via c-section. I knew what the recovery was like and I realized I would not be able to work for at least six weeks or more.
This was a problem. I had committed myself to honoring over 200 Groupons in a period of six months. Being the only massage therapist was going to mean that all those new clients would either have to wait or get a refund. To my surprise, not everyone was understanding. This was not a choice I had made- and there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to let my body heal. I couldn't even take care of my kids alone. I wasn't allowed to lift more than 10 lbs. and my youngest, Hank wasn't even walking and still in diapers. I wasn't allowed to drive my oldest son to school. Couldn't go grocery shopping. It was a tough, painful recovery. But I made it with lots of support from my wonderful husband and family. My mother-in-law even came down all the way from New Hampshire just to help out around the house and take care of the kids. I didn't even deal with the loss of the pregnancy until about a year after all of this happened. It was just so unexpected and so traumatic- I couldn't even go there mentally.
But, the fact was, I lost a baby. Even though it wasn't planned, and I didn't know I was pregnant. I had to deal with that fact. Everyone deals with loss in their own way. I guess my way of dealing was just acknowledging the fact that it happened- that it was an unavoidable loss- if I wanted to stay alive. And also I already had two, beautiful boys keeping me busy and growing up too fast. They are both such miracles. As recently as this spring I have faced the loss and mourned. I know it's all ok. I still have the option of trying again if my husband and I decide to do so.
Growing a business can be such a challenge. I started to think that my reputation as a professional massage therapist had been ruined by those few people who were inconvenienced by my recovery time after surgery. But it turns out that even after all of that waiting, many people were just happy I honored their Groupon coupon past the date it expired. Daily Deals also have their purpose, but for the solo therapist- unless you are needing a quick kick-start for your practice- it's a bit too overwhelming! If you do decide to go with a Daily Deal- LIMIT YOUR SALES! You can be a much more effective Therapist by a providing a few EXCELLENT massages per working day. Make sure you take time for yourself throughout your day. And if you need help Establishing Personal Boundaries, check out my next post!
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